vade-mecum

Just alone in a bus at a lonely night from  capital city to the south state. With the blank expression, I take out my pocket book the iPad 2 to wrote something about the loneliness and encouragement. This is the way how I fill my time, the three hours journey with the something good with the poet expression. So please listen to my life rhythm, the rhythm from my heart damage. Feel it :)


If I fall two times, I come back on my third
I won't give up, and that's my word
If I fall five times, I come back harder on my sixth
Knock me down again, I still won't give up
If I'm knocked seven times, I come back on my eight
Seven times and eight times until my life ends
Now knowledge of self through the pain in this world
I won't give up, and that's my word
All the memories of hate and the lies
Don't you know eventually we'll pay the price
All the hopes and the dreams will survive
 Reunite we got to keep our faith alive 
And now that I'm 23rd
I know about the real world and betrayals
And temptation reaches out to me
I want to taste the opportunities
I couldn't have as an innocent teen
That time has gone, my hopes and dreams are gone
I want to escape from this place
Tears fall, no one wipe it up for me
As I climb onto the roof and scream at the top of my lungs
I'm going crazy but, my words echo back to me
Cold, lonely, grieving
I'm in the daze of an abyss
Then suddenly i feel like spreading my  wings
And I want to fly to freedom
Leave the cruel world behind me
I'd search the edge of heaven for my precious innocence 
The things that can't have again
I want to play with my friends
I search my memories for all i have lost
Lie down on the ground and gaze into the endless sky
All my hopes and dreams they seem so far away
I'm sing a song and pray for better days
I feel frozen as I sit inside my room and hug my pillow as I cry
It's my 22nd birthday and I know I should take  responsibility for my own life
Why is the path so steep?
The mountain of my life is too high
No matter how high I climb, i can't see the top
I blunder down the dark back streets until even my shadow is exhausted
I take it a step slower, so I don't lose control
Let go my pipe dreams that robbed me like viking
We lose so much if we stop rising
I seem to have found comfort that I can feel
I find it in my mother's face 
The stars keep passing overhead  and hands of time turns
Bringing the future closer
So there you have it, my whole life without all its memories
I'm trying to figure out how to set all of my pain free 
Sometimes I wish that I could turn the hands of time back
So I could rewrite the wrong and put my life back on the right track
I want to recover what I've lost
I'll keep searching for my life, all my days until the end
If I'm knocked seven times, I come back on my eight
Seven times and eight times until my life end
Life goes on, it's just a state of mind
That's my word


~phared shakur~
THANK YOU :)
ASSALAMUALAIKUM